As I’d feared in my previous post, I did indeed get stuck on my dirt road on my way back to my property that day. Actually, I got stuck 3 times, and instead of getting the hint after the first time, or the second time, I barged on, undeterred, like a fool. In my defense, things didn’t get too bad until the 3rd time I got stuck. The first time, I reversed a few feet and gave myself some extra momentum to overcome a slick patch. The second time, I remembered to engage the differential lock, and muscled my way up an icy incline. The 3rd time, though, I got stuck on a particularly rough section of the road, where there’s a tight corner, steep grade, and some big boulders. I kept backing up, but not regaining any ground, until I was up against a bush. Eventually, I walked up to my camp, grabbed a shovel, and started shoveling compacted icy snow out from ahead of the tires. Fortunately, that did the trick. (By the way, if you were following my new Twitter account,@laptopandarifle, you would’ve gotten a real-time blow-by-blow of that incident…).
Other than that, life’s chugging along. Here’s something I wrote in my journal last night:
December 6th, 2010
I may be living a dream, but not every day is exactly rosy. I hit a rough patch today, when, for a while, it seemed like nothing was going right. I was already feeling frustrated with the slow progress, when I slipped and drove my cordless drill into my finger. It’s just a flesh wound, but combined with the crack on my thumb, I felt like I was slowly losing use of my hands, one finger at a time. Then, I screwed up installing a window. My feet are still constantly cold. I realized that I couldn’t put the chimney where I thought I could after all. I noticed that the door wasn’t hung square, and it was too late to fix. I worried about whether I’d be able to get my car back down the dirt road, and if I could, whether I’d be able to come back up. If I had to leave my car farther down the road, I may have to walk a quarter mile in the cold to go to bed. I suddenly wasn’t sure I’d finish Hut 2.1 before conditions forced me off my property. Dark clouds rolled in. A chilly gust blew through the open walls of my cabin, numbing my fingers as I tried to mark my next cut.
I wondered to myself why I couldn’t just be like everybody else, and be content working in a warm office, going home to a wife and kids. I thought about how crazy it is that I’m building my own house, alone, in the middle of nowhere, in the cold, without any training in carpentry, construction, or architecture, on a shoe-string budget, in defiance of god knows how many building codes. I felt like I was doing everything wrong. Imperfections glared back at me. Unfinished tasks loomed in my mind, overwhelmingly. Doubts flashed through my mind — maybe I should let other people do the building, and just pay a mortgage, like everybody else.
But, eventually, I pulled myself together, and had a productive day. Out here, alone, I am the source of all my problems, but I am also the solution to all my problems. At least, I have to be, if I don’t want to get stuck. In the city, things that stress people out are the things they can’t control. Whether it’s their job, the cable company, the plumber or mechanic, or their noisy neighbors, peoples’ lives are so deeply intertwined with –and dependent on– others that they often have little control over the problems they face. Out here, nobody causes any of my problems, but I also can’t expect anyone else to solve my problems for me either. Sometimes it feels overwhelming, but at the end of the day, I overcome those challenges and feel better for it.
Indeed, I found solutions to my problems. I bandaged my fingers, and got back to work. I found a new place to put the chimney. I tore out the window and installed it satisfactorily. I ignored the pain in my toes — actual risks of frostbite are negligible. I devised a workaround for the door problem. I warmed up my fingers with a hot mug of coffee, picked up my saw, and kept cutting. After dark, I walked down the dirt road, shovel in hand, breaking up the ice along the way so that I could get out the next morning. And I got my bedding out of the car, heaved it up the makeshift ladder, into the loft of Hut 2.1. Last night, I slept in my new unfinished cabin for the first time. It was a bit draftier than the car, but if I want to get warmer, I’ll just have to finish the damn walls.
News Flash! Sales of my super amazing calendars have been lackluster. Maybe you guys don’t like me as much as I thought, or the calendar isn’t as awesome as I think, but maybe it was just too damn expensive for these lean times. Well, to see which of these is true, I’ve marked down the price by 15% to a more reasonable $24.79. That’s a whopping $4.38 off the original price! And remember, the more people buy a calendar, the sooner I can afford a warm pair of boots 😉 My toes thank you in advance. (If you’re convinced, here’s the link again.)